Poor Richard's Scorecard

Eightysomething and Cancer-Stricken: Say Hello to Your United States Senate

THE CURRENT president and House speaker notwithstanding, national politics remains largely the purview of old, white men. This is hardly news, of course, but the reality was driven home with the recent announcement that Frank Lautenberg, one of New Jersey's senators, has stomach lymphoma. Yes, it's treatable--curable, even--and, no, the senator will not resign. Lautenberg is 86 years old.

New Pennsylvania Beer Legislation Makes Sense and Helps Consumers; Of Course It Has No Chance

That Pennsylvania continues to be one of the few states whose government controls the sale of alcoholic beverages is astounding, given its political makeup. The urban, cosmopolitan populations comprising the Commonwealth's eastern and western reaches should be sufficiently affluent and politically savvy to influence the political process to offer greater choice and better prices. The God-and-guns crowd in the center of the state should be aghast at the undeniably socialist infrastructure that currently exists. Yet we're still stuck with state stores and beer distributors.

Phodder: Well, at Least It's More Productive Governing Than Appearing on 'Eagles Post-Game Live'

How considerate of Governor Rendell to take time out of his schedule to write kind words on behalf of his good buddy, convicted felon Vince Fumo. Seriously, enough: Public officials who abuse their position for personal gain--and that's what Senator Fumo did--should not be allowed to hide behind their political accomplishments (or, perhaps, "accomplishments") in whining for leniency. Throw him under the bus already. ... With the breathless Pedro frenzy and Halladay hoopla we find ourselves in the middle of, it's worth remembering that last year's pitching acquisition, Joe Blanton, has quietly put together a very solid first half of the season. ... Kudos to Congressman Patrick Murphy and Inquirer columnist Monica Yant Kinney for their recent courageous and politically unpopular stands--and best wishes in dealing with the hate that surely followed. ... Threatened program cuts and layoffs are among the scare tactics the governor is employing to strike a budget deal that includes a tax increase. May I respectfully request that we put liquor-store privatization on the table as a means to reduce state payroll and boost tax revenue? ... I'm completely okay with Charlie Manuel tapping Ryan Howard and Jayson Werth for all-star honors. To the victor go the spoils, yaknowwhatImean? | PRS

Phodder, a collection of brief thoughts regarding some of the week's happenings in and around Philadelphia, appears Saturdays in Poor Richard's Scorecard.

Boston, San Francisco, and Baltimore Tamed Their Urban Highways; Why Can't Us?

Last Friday my family and I spent the day in Baltimore. We zipped across the harbor on a water taxi, ate lunch and dinner at waterside restaurants, people-watched, and walked to and from our hotel with absurd ease. We pointed out attractions we hoped to attend in future years, when the girls are older and interested in different things. On Saturday morning I went for a run along the perimeter of the harbor, which was lined with all manner of restaurants, museums, shops, and upscale residences. Throughout our entire time in Charm City, I was struck by how accessible and welcoming and fun the Inner Harbor is--and how Philadelphia continues to lose a golden opportunity to showcase its waterfront.

Phodder: For a Guy Who Doesn't Wield a Paint Brush, Timothy Rub Is Earning a Lot of Notice from the Art Press

Happy birthday, America! ... Wow, did the Inquirer spend an awful lot of column-inches on the incoming director of the Philadelphia Museum of Art. ... The Phillies had no compunction about punting Brett Myers to Lehigh Valley last season to straighten out his head and let him play through his fog without hurting the club; at what point do they start thinking about the same tactic for Jimmy Rollins? ... Discussions about shunting Interstate 95 away from the Delaware River waterfront in Center City to open up that vastly underused area for much-needed development are long overdue. Yet I worry about the algebra: Massive public-works project + Philadelphia = epic corruption. It would make Boston's Big Dig look like a Boy Scout meeting. ... The city's postponement of parking rate hikes is all well and good, but doing something about the crippling cost of doing business would have greater long-term impact. ... The saturation coverage of the double murder at the Piazza at Schmidt's again raises the question of why we don't pay such attention to all victims--including, say, the ones who aren't noted figures on the local club scene. ... Brian Boucher arrives, Mike Knuble departs; I don't like that math. | PRS

Phodder, a collection of brief thoughts regarding some of the week's happenings in and around Philadelphia, appears Saturdays in Poor Richard's Scorecard.

But Does 'The Real Housewives' Keep Tourists Away from North Jersey?

If all of Philadelphia's municipal government agencies worked as ruthlessly efficiently as the Parking Authority--if the Parking Authority's performance were the rule rather than the exception--perhaps the nationwide angst fostered by the A&E series Parking Wars would be easier to swallow. Instead, as the Inquirer reports today, the reality show, which "traces the not-so-glamorous workday lives of Philadelphia Parking Authority employees as they boot, tow, and ticket their way through the day," is turning off potential tourists from coming to the city. Sigh. Imagine how much the city could lure--tourists, start-ups, corporate headquarters, college graduates--if the School District, Sanitation Department, Streets Department, Police Department, etc., etc., etc.,--worked as well as the goddamned Parking Authority. | PRS

Stay Classy, CBS3, 6ABC, NBC10, Fox29, KYW NewsRadio, and Comcast SportsNet

Memo to Chase Utley: We'll give you the F-bomb you dropped in Citizens Bank Park on Halloween, but in the years to come, Vince Lombardi's immortal advice should carry the day: When celebrating future World Series victories--and there will be future World Series victories--act as if you've been there before. After all, we wouldn't want again to offend the tender ears of those so upset by your profanity that they took the time to kvetch to the Federal Communications Commission. Hilarious excerpts from their complaints after the jump:

Never Have So Many Done So Little With So Much

Recession? What recession?

The collective brain trust known as the Pennsylvania legislature will "earn" itself a nearly 3% raise in a week and a half just for showing up, reported yesterday's Inquirer:

Come Dec. 1, base salaries of state House and Senate members will increase 2.8 percent, or $2,152, to $78,315. Legislative leaders will see even more of a pay bump.

The extra cash comes courtesy of a law that legislators passed in 1995, setting in motion annual cost-of-living adjustments, or COLAs, for themselves and other elected state officials, including the governor and judges.

The legislature replaced the COLAs in 2005 with raises of 16 to 54 percent but, after widespread public outcry, rescinded them later that year and returned to the COLAs.

The news is a bit hard to swallow, isn't it, during an economic downturn? And then consider this: Our bloated, unwieldy legislature is one of the largest in the country, so we're shelling out even more than we might otherwise for the privilege of rank corruption and incompetence. Finally, this:

With this year's raises, Pennsylvania's legislature will remain the fourth best paid, behind those in California, Michigan and New York.

Is there anyone -- anyone? -- who thinks ours is the fourth brightest, most effective legislature in the country? | PRS

What's Next? The Phanatic, Swoop, and Hip-Hop Stealing a Kid's Ice Cream Money and Kicking His Puppy?

Brazen attacks in very public places, in broad daylight? Check, and check.

An ongoing war against cops? Check.

A city government packed with nepotistic hacks and unable to decide whether it even wants to begin treading the ethics path? Check.

The various negative perceptions so much of the country has about Philadelphia have converged over the past several days in a sad orgy of lawlessness, violence, and incompetence. Mayor Nutter, baby, I love ya, but it's time to act on the mandate city voters gave you last November. They wanted, and deserve, transparency and accountability. Give them that and you might, over time, see more businesses and residents moving back into the city and filling the public coffers with scratch that will enable you to finally do something about improving schools, hiring more cops, and slowing down the insane cycle of killing. Let's not wait for the next civic embarrassment, okay? | PRS

And That's Where George Washington and Abe Lincoln Split a Cheesesteak ... Yeah, That's the Ticket ...

After hearing of Center City tour guides mangling Philadelphia history to visitors, City Council passed and Mayor Nutter signed a law requiring them to be licensed and to have passed a test demonstrating their knowledge of the facts they are presenting. Seems logical, right? Especially these days, when our civic dialogue too often ignores actually history in favor of willful misrepresentation, and when we are just discovering that our Founding Fathers were not the paragons of virtue we're taught about in school, we'd seem well within our rights to mandate that these professional talkers be telling the truth.

Well, except for that sticky issue of free speech, which a handful of tour guides cited in challenging the law in court. Yesterday the city agreed to hold off on enforcing the law for six months. A Nutter spokesman said the reason was that neither the written exam nor the process to score it had been finalized, but I suspect that the city realizes it's in a bit of a pickle, Constitution-wise. Which is kinda funny, considering that what it's trying to legislate is the presentation of history some of which led to the creation of that very document, the protection of the right to speak freely. | PRS